How to be Unhappy and Stay That Way

The Cirque Foundation Launch is on 20th December where we will be hosting workshops on mental health, Christmas stalls and lots more with free wine and buffet. Join us for a fantastic day and to meet the team here at Cirque.

  1. Complain – like all the time! About everyone and everything. Do not look for the positive and/or lessons in every situation and most certainly do not do what Maya Angelou suggests; “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”
  2. Go shopping – a lot, in fact every weekend, spend all your time amongst the zombified shoppers at your local shopping centre or for the ultimate misery go to a bigger one further afield; sit in traffic to get there, spend an age looking for a parking space to spend the money that you have worked all week for on stuff you don’t need.
  3. Binge Drink – because why the hell not! We all know this is a direct root to anxiety and other health problems both physically and mentally so chuck that gin down your throat. “While binge drinking is a significant issue, it is likely that many members of the public would be surprised by its categorisation as a mental illness, particularly at the milder end.”Anthony F. Jorm
  4. Worry, worry and worry some more about all the things out of your control. For ultimate effect this one is best performed in the dark hours of night. If you want to stay unhappy DO NOT listen to guided medication or lose yourself in relaxing, sleep inducing music. “More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.”
    Roy T. Bennett
  5. Do not have any passions and refer to number 2 (go shopping). We are here, on this little blue planet of ours, for such a short time so what’s the point in wasting precious time on finding out who you are, what you love and putting it into practice because you may end up loving something beyond your wildest dreams and why would anybody want to do that?A person can succeed at almost anything for which they have unlimited enthusiasm.” — Charles M. Schwab,
  6. Eat Rubbish – because it makes you feel s***. Eat food that is processed, with a high sugar and salt content and wash it down with alcohol. Do not eat your five-a-day for optimum physical and mental health unless for some bizarre reason you want to look and feel great and have more energy in general. “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food” Hippocrates

“Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy” Author Unknown

  1. Hold onto your anger and hurt – this is a must to stop you feeling any kind of life-fulfilment. You must not let go of all the wrongs, instead think about them all the time. DO NOT forgive. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha
  2. Do not self-improve and carry on learning – why bother wasting your time on learning about something that may lead you to your purpose in life. “Let us strive to improve ourselves, for we cannot remain stationary; one either progresses or retrogrades.
    Mme. Du Deffand
  3. Do not do anything that you say you will – this way people will not believe anything you say and will expect nothing from you, better still you won’t expect anything to yourself – bonus!
  4. Hate your work – why work in a job that you love. Why would anybody do that? Is there anybody out there that “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
  5. Be lonely or surround yourself with drama – because positive people bring pleasure and opportunities so surround yourself with drama and negative people and do not socialise with people who inspire you…. unless of course you actually want to feel alive. If you surround yourself with positive people who build you up, the sky is the limit.Joel Brown
  6. Consume yourself with negative thoughts and assume the worst all the time – this is a direct path to poor mental health and other illness, not to mention chronic unhappiness, so crack on with the self-criticising negative self-talk because only people who want peace of mind and contentment seek help to become free of the debilitating nonsense that stems from the comments of anything negative ever said to us. “It would be easy to become a victim of our circumstances and continue feeling sad, scared or angry; or instead, we could choose to deal with injustice humanely and break the chains of negative thoughts and energies, and not let ourselves sink into it.”
    Erin Gruwell
  7. ALWAYS Use the word ALWAYS whenever you encounter anything negative; e.g. I am ALWAYS going to feel this way because I ALWAYS have.
  8. Do not have any goals period because why bother? “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”Albert Einstein
  9. Worry about what others think of you – because living your life for everybody else is the best way to stay miserable and unfulfilled. “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
  10. Believe that material things will make you happy. Watch all the adverts because buying that ‘next thing’ is sure to make you feel better. Do not try a new hobby such as art or writing, or yoga because you may just discover something that consumes you in a positive (much less expensive) way and where the hell would capitalism be if we were all content?
  11. Let Rita, Gerald, Bobby so and so…and any other randomer have an influence of your mood. In fact seek out miserable people and stand in their way until they are rude to you so you can internalise their pain and spread it amongst others. Do not go with the fact that how others treat you has nothing to do with you but is ALWAYS about them and in this instance ALWAYS is correct! “The way people treat you, is a statement about who they are as a human being. It is not a statement about you.” Unknown

All in all if you want to stay unhappy do nothing and be nothing. Failing that get out there and try new things; self-improve, learn, learn and never stop learning because one day we are going look back either with regrets or without. I know which one I want to do.

November 29, 2017

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